52 days

Mark you calendars. Today is the day it's made official. Tested and made official on February 8th. It is now possible to read a book in the twilight in the parking lot before school. At like 7:26 as I walked between my vehicle and the door of the school, I whipped out my copy of Angela's Ashes and easily made the distinction of the words without eye strain.

In other words: Spring is coming. In just three weeks it will be March 1st and Winter (Dec-Feb) will end and Spring (Mar-May) begins. and then like two or three weeks into March, the equinox or whatever the hell hits us and that means some astrological shit and THAT'S when the general public believes Spring starts. (They're wrong, Spring starts March 1st and has nothing to do with the fucking equinox). Then, about a day or two before Spring break, the sun is high enough above the horizon to provide a glare in henceforth sunglasses are accepted and necessary to wear on the drive from home to Base Camp Alpha. And the significance of wearing sunglasses on the drive to school? Good question. Wearing sunglasses on the drive to school is symbolic of some sort of vacation shit. I don't really know how to go into much detail on the subject so instead I'll bullshit the entire thing but it'll still make sense.

Wearing sunglasses increases the vacation meter of anything by like some 20±. If sunglasses are required, and sunglasses be worn, you are already at like 20± vacation. For example, think about my place of work. My job (esp. during the summer) is like 85± vacation; a trip to the lake is only 70± vacation, so you see the preponderance of an 85± vacation meter. My job involves sunglasses, sunscreen, bathing suits, apathy, and summer fun. Each pushing the vacation meter up a few percent per. Now imagine yourself driving to school; well, imagine me driving to school (two correctly used semicolons in one paragraph? That's what's up). During the fall and winter months, the drive to school yields a vacation meter of 0±. BUT! After the transition to sunglasses during the drive, your vacation meter is boosted a whole 20±! And that is vital after living with 0± for like 4 months straight. Ok, you gotta admit...I bullshitted that very well.

But I feel like I should explain to everyone how the vacation levels work. It's a rather simple system that easily assesses the amount of vacation you are experiencing in any given situation. Vacation is measured in a unit of "giveortake", abbreviated by "±", (that's ironic and funny, I take full credit). Each item or aspect of whatever activity you are doing yields a certain amount of giveortake. For example; sunglasses (as you learned) yield 20±, boats yield 80±, sauna's have 15±, sunburns have like 60±, etc. In order to ever say "I'm on vacation" (and be anywhere near accurate) you need at least 100±, but you probably want more like 150-300 for it to be a good vacation. You'll notice that boats plus sunglasses conveniently offer 100±. That's not a coincidence. Now you could have a very small and shitty vacation in your backyard if you were willing and bored enough. You could be like sunglasses+bronze-monkey+coconut cup+cruising magezine+sunscreen+the song "kokomo" and be sititng at an easy 100±. But that would never compare to a cruise which could amount to like 500-600±.

Oh my God I cannot stop sneezing. I sneezed like 10 times in a row just now. Some bullshit. Speaking of bullshit I hope you enjoyed my lesson on vacations.