Enough is Enough

What's up readers? I come with a fun fact for you today: I am tired of studying. I've studied all day. I wanted to study for another half hour or so but my brain just farted out on me and I think I'm done for today. This how my day's go every day until finals. I'm not gonna fucking fail a class. Mainly because I won't be able to enjoy my trip abroad knowing a class defeated me. No fuck that. So I'm studying all day.

So it's Spring Break planning season. Karen and I have known we're making the pilgrimage to Miami for about 8 months now, but we've crossed the line from planning phase to booking phase. And let me tell you, I  have a great itinerary set up for us. Hotel on Collins, Miami Heat game, Tom's NFL, Coconut Grove; yes I've got it all in there. I'm determined to have a bomb-ass spring break to make up for last years. I'm not saying last years spring break wasn't a good time, but it didn't even come close to doing living up to the high expectations I've formed for spring break trips.

One thing that bugs me about human tendencies, is that nothing is ever enough. Unless you're so unfortunate you're dying, satisfaction is a feeling that doesn't really exist. Whether it's money, girls, or practically anything at all really; you will find that you will NEVER get enough of it. Last year, I wanted a scholarship. With a scholarship I'd be getting several hundred dollars a month on top of several thousand dollars a year. 'I'd get the scholarship and be happy', I thought. But no. I got the scholarship, I'm making more money than 90% of students my age, and I still want more.

My mom writes books. For the past ten years, all I've heard her talk about is publishing a book. "If I could just publish ONE book, I don't even care if I get rich or not I just want to be published", she said. Now she's published on the market with four books, selling hundreds if not thousands each month. And now all I hear her say is how she wants more and more buyers. Eventually she'll want to be famous.

I remember a few years ago, in high school, wanting to travel all over the place. I'd book a few trips to LA, try to get out to Miami once or twice, but as predicted, I was never satisfied. I traveled more than every single person in my high school, but I wanted to see more of the world. I wanted more trips away from home. I did the math last night, and assuming nothing changes, I'll have visited Miami at least once a year since junior year of high school. That's four years, and four trips to Miami. Now I'm going to Morocco and Spain in between my Miami trips and it's STILL not enough. I still want to travel more.

There just isn't any satisfaction in anything. You can get close to satisfaction but then the variables change and you require more and more to become satisfied. Whether it's popularity, money, globetrotting, or power, we compete more and more for a goal that keeps getting harder and harder to reach. And that is awesome.

This driving force that pushes us for some bar we'll never get to makes us incredible individuals. It's one of the biggest motivators in all of us. Would I be in the Air Force if I didn't have this driving passion to visit everywhere on Earth twice? Would I be in college pushing myself to get smarter than everyone else if I didn't want an infinite amount of money? Fuck no! No one would be doing anything if we weren't able to motivate ourselves with bribes of personal triumph. We wouldn't have presidents, or airline pilots, or leaders or thinkers solving the world's problems. We'd just have faggot 1 and faggot 2 at home smoking pot. (Sorry, I just really hate potheads).

But unfortunately this 'driving force' that pushes us to do great things, also pushes some people in the opposite direction. Many people find that they can never party enough, or shoplift enough, or get high enough. People get the same triumph off of doing bad things as I do for good things. I mean hell if I want to travel and get money and power I could just as easily get into organized crime; and that never-ending chase for satisfaction will push me to steal and deal a great deal of harm.

So I guess what it comes down to, is finding out what satisfies you...and picking a side. Until next time...