Shift of the Gods!

What's up world. I'm hittin the pen again this morning. Drinking some Honduran Coffee and just finishing up a nice episode of South Park.

So I have to work later today at the beautiful Calypso Cove water park. It's gonna be one of the better work days for one reason: it's the dream team shift. Yes. Imagine for me if you will, a shift of 8 lifeguards, and all of them are like MVP lifeguards except for two. Shit's gonna go down. This has been called the shift of the God's. If it were a movie it'd when an academy award. This is an Olympian team of waterpark shifts and I'm gonna be there watching it go down.

The Calypso Cove waterpark is really a bittersweet place. Deep down it's hell. 16 teenagers everyday sit there bored as fuck and deal with the shittiest kids in the universe. Somehow though, it creates a bond among us lifeguards. Even though we all hate it, six days a week for almost seven hours it's all we talk about. We retell stories of "the good ole' days" and reminisce in the scattered good times to be had there.

It's similar to living in a place like Ambohimirary, Madagascar. Ambohimirary is a very small town in Madagascar, one which everyone knows each other very well, and no one has any option but to live in the town and help the common goal of survival. The children of this town likely know no other way of life, and such a town is rooted in ritual and tradition even if it's become cliche over the centuries. 


Calypso Cove is just like that. We lifeguards don't know much other options, we're rooted in tradition and rituals (rain dance rituals), and we enjoy passing down stories from generation to generation. It's an interesting way to spend your summer. The movie Adventureland hits the nail on the head. 


When it begins to storm over Calypso Cove, we dance to the Gods. We have a hunch that some of the equipment requires ritualistic sacrifice to get to work, and bleach is a sacred reagent that solves all problems. Of course we are kidding when we sacrifice beach balls to the vacuum Gods above. But the reason we waste our time with this shit is because (like I mentioned earlier) this waterpark is cursed and we would lose our sanity otherwise. Generally, the more nonsensical traditions and bullshit we do to please the "gods", the more entertaining it is to work. 


And thus, the shift of the Gods was born. The shift of the Gods was the creation of the waterpark god "Anbus", to allow this Monday to be chill. It was fate mixed with sanctity that allowed this shift to happen. Unfortunately with every magical shift, there is an equal opposite. That shift comes Wednesday, in the form of all new and shitty guards, and then me. The waterpark gods must enforce the rules that the waterpark must be ever-so-even from week to week. When it's not, the gods react and drop the chlorine to zero and the water turns green!


But yes, in an hour when I go to work on my motorcycle, I come ready to enjoy what the waterpark gods have given us. Only to have it taken away on Wednesday.


Sorry for bullshitting. I was bored this morning. Until next time...