Get Real YMCA

What's up everyone. I decided a quick blog post may be in order for this afternoon. So I realized something interesting when working at the Norton Commons pool a week ago. Allow me to explain.


Norton Commons is a quaint little neighborhood out in the edges of Louisville. It's really a utopian village, everyone knows everyone and there are few disruptions from the positive activity. It's kind of like an Animal Crossing village, with a bakery, tailor, and fire department less than a block away from your house. So the pool there is this cute little pool in the middle of things where the villagers come to relax and get away from their stressful lives on the outside world.


A part of this is the "I need a drink" feeling. It seems like just about everyone has a Tervis Tumbler filled with a perfectly crafted cocktail of his or her choice. Be it a glass of wine, margarita, martini, or a Vodka Redbull, everyone comes wielding something. However this becomes a problem because the pool is staffed by the YMCA and the YMCA does not tolerate such sin as having a drink or two! So the lifeguards are required to enforce the dry rule and not let these indecent sinners into the pool.

Here's the ironic part: I'm the lifeguard that's expected to do this. Yes, a college sophomore is required to tell pool members (of age) that they can't drink. I can assure you, that is not going to happen. But I did find it interesting that for once, I am the authority above alcohol. Instead using my intelligence to the highest degree to try to sneak a bottle onto a cruise ship, into the zoo, purchase it on Delta flights, etc. I'm supposed to halt  suspects at the gate, and sniff their cup to ensure they wouldn't consider such a heinous act of drinking alcohol at a pool!

So long story short, I did absolutely nothing in my power to stop people from drinking at the pool. For fuck's sake they can have a damn drink at the pool. If they were 12 years old it'd be different. But no. Thirty years old and still having to sneak booze into a pool. Get real YMCA.

Then I started thinking a little further out, and realized that it's gonna get worse for me. Next year at college I'll be an almighty Resident Adviser. In this case it will be quite a bit more important to bust people for alcohol. In fact I will lose my job if I don't. So this fall shit's gonna get real for me, because I'll be the serious authority over alcohol. Instead of siphoning it into inconspicuous water bottles, I'll be on the opposing end of it. It's just ironic.

So my bro Tom's coming to the lake this weekend. It's gonna be rad! We're gonna eat and drink and have a good time and swim and have campfires and all that fun shit! I really wish we could somehow install a swim up bar somewhere on that lake. Hear me out.

Ok so just like in pools in Cancun, the lake has water, which gives it the potential for swim up bar! Imagine our little humble cove of the lake tucked away and dubbed "Hillview Private". Let's carve out some of those rocks, throw in a granite counter top and some shelves with of course a boppin sound system. Then hire a bartender and DJ to take care of the party every Saturday of summer. Playing Avicii and Cataracs all day and night long while we drink and dance and do flips and tricks off the dock. Imagine that.

Tom, Karen and I all wake up at around 11:00am, just to hear the party getting started down at the water. We eat some breakfast, in a hurried fashion much like on a cruise ship. Then by noon or 1:00 we're changing into our swimsuits to head down to the fiesta! We can hear the bass pounding from the house music played below. We down an introductory shot before grabbing a noodle and departing for the lake.

Boats filled with teenagers and alcohol are moored up and anchored just like Lake Havasu for spring break. Everyone's jumping in, drinking, floating, dancing, and ordering shots from the bar. Tom, Karen and I all roam around the cove and jump from boat to boat meeting more and more people to party with. The sun sets, we wash down some hot dogs with more drinks and by midnight we've gotten the partying out of our system and we head back up to the cabin to pass out blissfully.

I think I just ruined the lake for me, since it will never be as awesome as I just described. Oh well, swim up bar or not this weekend is gonna be dope shit on top of dope shit. Until next time...