Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm done with calculus. Yessss. It's such a sweet feeling to finish your calculus homework mainly because that's the only challenging homework I ever have, so finishing it on a Friday is the culmination of my week's efforts.
Speaking of calculus did you hear I got like a 100% on my first calculus exam? Yeah put that shit on my A-Wall.
Being on scholarship is one of the greatest feelings I've yet felt. Watching everyone fail in college WHILE they pay for it is fucking hilarious. I love it.
I want to talk about my CIS instructor, named Dr. Chas Hartman. But I don't call him that, I call him professor bro. Because that's exactly what he is. He's gotten his Ph. D in journalism so you know he's kind of a big deal but his first name is Chas and he's cool as fuck. Like the way he gives instructions and shit is so chill, he's just like "let's get all our work done so we can go chill and freestyle with our boys." Like even though he never says that, I'm sure he's thinking it because that's the kind of guy he is. It's such a chill class to be in. My last core English class was high stress. I was by far the best in that bitch but nonetheless I really had to earn my A. This class is quite the opposite, I can chill and cruise control through the class and still meet Professor Bro's expectations. I imagine that if Professor Bro were a college student, sent back in time to my peer group he and I would be good acquaintances. We'd do all the shit me and my current bros do.
Having bros is so essential to college life. I'm not talking friends, everyone has friends. Bros are different, it's less stressful and more douchebag oriented. It's so important for me to relieve all my stress by freestyling with my boys or playing some mx on a Tuesday night.
Bros are like dogs in a couple ways. The first reason is basic and easy to derive. They're your best friend, always at your side and always got your back. When you walk through the door after a stressful day, you see your bro chillin on your bed waiting for you-- smiling ear to ear to finally see you. Then you're just like "hey alex..." and he jumps up and down "OH CAN WE GET DRUNK TONIGHT CAN WE GET DRUNK TONIGHT!?!?!? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE..." And you're like "fine," and you call up your other bro "dude Alex wants to get drunk tonight, will you go with me?" and Alex is still doing backflips and shit like "YESSSSSSSS!!!!" Just like a dog, always excited to see you, always excited to run around and fuck bitches with you.
The second reason is that the activities you do with your bros, just like the activities you do with your dog, are repetitive and seldom change. Mondays, Fridays, all the time in between, you know what you'll be doing with your boys before the parties, after the parties, and during the parties: freestyling. Freestyling is the glue that bonds bros like the way fetch bonds man to dog. If there's music playing, and you're just a littttttle bit fucked up, it's time to spit. In addition to freestyling, there's the pastime that has been bonding bros since like 1996: videogames. Yes a good videogame will entertain a set of bros until they get carpal tunnel. And then they'll start freestyling.
The third reason bros are like dogs, is that they are very territorial. If you're at a party, and you find a group of different bros then there are two things that may happen. You may all become one group of bros and chill and freestyle together, or you may all square off and start clowning each other which will lead to a bro-down, aka dogfight. At that point it's just a bunch of douchebags yelling "I'm just tryna party, tryna play some pong and fuck some bitches. But this PUSSY OVER HERE..!" and so on and so forth. In the end it will result in walking back to the dorm to freestyle and play madden or mx or Skyrim.
College would be much different without bros. I feel sorry for anyone who has to drag along without. It's just so much different than high school. High school priorities were being noticed and fitting in. College priorities are getting ya boy checked in to KT to hit this freestyle track. High School is about being the number 1 in the student section. College is about getting money and becoming successful (check). High school is about being invited to the party. College is about finding the best party.
I like college better. No douche but.. I'm really really fucking good at it. I mean, why else would the military wanna pay me just to keep doing the same shit I did last semester? When I'm in a lecture hall with 150 other guys, I look around and see maybe 3 people that can match me. I know I'm getting cocky but I've gotta be in like the top 10% of this university, and probably the top 1% of America. Get at me.
I was fucking around all high school. And I still was able to get a 3.6 GPA, a pilot's license, $3,000 scholarship money, and a really cute girlfriend. Six months into college and I've been able to get Wings, Dean's List, and an $80,000 scholarship. I'm clearly not fucking around anymore.
My Spring break vacation cost what I make in less than two weeks. My net worth, provided by the Air Force, is expected to reach the millions by the time I reach age 24. I'm 18 years old and I'm rewarded with THOUSANDS of dollars per year just because the United States Military likes me. I can afford to take a trip to Los Angeles ONCE A MONTH. Better than that, I can afford toys like motorcycles and drive them around campus. Better than that, when frat douches look at me like "Cool, did your dad buy you that?" And I laugh my fucking ass off from under my helmet because truth is, no he didn't! But I entertain me, who pays your dues?
Damn my subwoofer is getting work done right now in #808. But I'm about done with this post. Talk to you next time. Until then...
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