I think I go through a mild depression right in the middle of the semester. I remember I got it last term, now I'm getting it again. It's right before midterms. I think I know why I get these midterm blues.
It's because I've been working hard for a long time but I still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Despite keeping my shit together for a month and a half now, I'm still not even halfway through. And the thought of that is depressing. This semester it doesn't seem to be as bad as last semester. This semester I have an awesome Spring Break thrown right in the middle of everything. Whereas last semester I had to wait a long ass time to get to Thanksgiving. It's like an extra month of going without a break!
Plus, and I've probably mentioned this before, the conditions are getting better. They're getting much better, and rapidly. Last semester at this stage of being a month and a half in, as this depression hit, it was the middle of October, and I knew that in just a few weeks it would get cold and nasty and bitter. This semester, it's the middle of February, and I know that in just a few weeks it will get warm and beautiful outside. Last semester at about this time girls were putting on more clothes, now they're taking it off! Things like that, and the rebirth of run-around-campus-shirtless-Friday should be making me really happy, and pulling my ass through the rest of this tough semester.
Be right back I have to pee so fucking bad. Sorry about that. I decided I've been abusing caffeine a little too much lately, and getting rather dependent on it. So I decided to chop it cold turkey. Haven't had caffeine since Sunday. I've had a headache since Monday. So I'm combating the headaches with shitloads and shitloads of water. Hence, the reason I have to pee.
Back to my thesis, I think another reason I've hit the midterm blues, is because I've seem to forgotten how to use "vacation" as a way to cope. Vacation music, vacation images, vacation anything makes everything so brighter and more tolerable. I think the dead months--January and February being two full months of disgusting bitch-ass grim weather--have distracted me. Fortunately, there are only two weeks and two days until Spring Break, when winter is over and the actual vacation begins.
Another way I'm trying to cope with this midterm no-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel bullshit is by trying to live like it's finals week. In fact, that's the reason I'm blogging right now. Finals week is still the best week I've had at this university. Even though it was cold as shit outside, and it got dark at like 4:30pm, and I had finals, the feeling of being at the very end of the semester was amazing. The random blogging in the middle of the day, the working out, and the the very important test to wrap up the evening, was all somehow relaxing to me.
That's how I'm trying to live right now. Even though it's not finals week, and it's not the last few days of the semester, it's the perspective that matters. During finals week, even though I had a lot to do, it didn't affect me at all. It's how I looked at my shit and thought, just do this, and you're done. Boom. Go play Skyrim. Maybe if I treated my classes and homework like that it would be fun like it was during finals week. We'll find out.
Well, off to pee again. Yeah I'm drinking a shit load of water. Maybe it'll help me put on weight.
So I was talking to my good friend Alex Krauss. Yep, good ole' Alex. After a little chit chat I invited him to Louisville over the summer and he invited me back to LA. For the 3rd summer in a row. So that's great and all, can't wait, but unfortunately with this Decker's Bitchin' Motorcycle Fund hogging up all my money, I may not completely be able to afford another trip to SoCal. If, by chance, I am able to afford a trip, that will be fantastic. But if not, I really wouldn't be too disappointed.
Over the past two summers, I've already had plenty of fun with Los Angeles. So much fun, I am actually completely satisfied with it. The memories I've accumulated in my travels to Los Angeles are particularly high quality, and will follow me for the rest of my life. For example, every night Chloe and Alex and I would go downstairs and play the board game "Pokemon Master". With Alex and Chloe's easily lit temper with each other, we usually could never finish the game we'd started. But it wasn't about the game. It was about enjoying a Wednesday evening in Oak Park, CA.
Los Angeles was fun. Not only Los Angeles, but traveling in general. One of my favorite feelings in the world is that extreme over-tired sensation after a restless long flight. Complete comfort is something you have to sacrifice for traveling. If I end up going to Switzerland with Karen next winter, we will both know exactly what I'm talking about in this paragraph. One of my favorite stories of long, overnight flights is the story of BigPP. Oh? I haven't told you the story of BigPP? Well pull up a chair and put on some chill music.
Why the fuck is the PA system in my dorm beeping? That better not be a fucking fire alarm. I'm bout to be pissed if it is. Brb Goddamnit. Stupid fire drill. Anyway.
So I was sitting up in Terminal 6 waiting for my Delta 767 to load up and depart. Alex had given me two cocktail vouchers good for 1 free drink. The idea was to use it to get alcohol without being carded. So I was just chilling wondering if I'd get carded. Then I boarded the plane and I happened to be sitting next a 21 year old blonde girl. No way right!? So after a little convincing, guess who decided to help me out? The blonde girl! So I enjoyed some Merlot at 37,000ft with some chick. I fell asleep soon after and woke up with about an hour and a half until we were to arrive in MSP.
Soon after I felt that over-tired flight feeling and quietly enjoyed my connection back home to Louisville. God I love traveling. My next flight is expected to be New York City--the only big city I have yet to explore! Can't wait for that. Basically I have the rest of this semester to work hard and bring in that dough, then I can enjoy my whole summer. Hopefully with a motorcycle between my legs, a plane ticket to New York and LA, and a nice tan to compliment my six-pack, my summer will be as great as I'm starting to anticipate it to be.
Well now I have to get back to work, do some calculus and then go off to my Computer Programming exam. Stay classy until next time, I'm hoping to blog more as we approach Spring, and better yet Summer. Happy February.
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