Always remember in life that for cats that take a while getting used to new animals, try switching their food bowls after a day or two. Of course it may just not eat for a while, but a domestic cat's highlight of the day is always food, so it's a pretty good motivator. Okay now you don't have to read the whole thing if you don't want, but it's still a fun cat story.
Have you ever wondered what happens when an unstoppable force collides with an immovable object? Well I ran an experiment with a very pissy Sadde and her very favorite pastime.
I decided to swap Gwen's food bowl with Sadde's; if it didn't go well I'd just swap Sadde's back in. (Oh btw we renamed them Finn and Gwen, Nala was Simba's girlfriend, not his mom. The mistake was just too much.) So I put Gwenhaël's food in a fresh bowl since she's still too skinny (Gwen is actually German in origin and I take animal-naming very seriously). Since Sadde's a gluttonous demon who's also a diva that hates animals on government assistance, I figured there's no better way to get her to accept reality. She dove into the catfood instantly, then realized the smell and had a moment. The gears were turning, complete cat cognitive dissonance. She decided it wasn't worth the inherent danger involved. So I put it in the microwave (that makes food smell irresistible to cats, another fun trick).
She thought about it for a while by herself. Then slowly and cautiously went back and started eating it. I figured I'd make a full experiment out of curiosity; I put new food in the left side, Gwendolyn's old food mixed with new food in the right, and rubbed the whole bowl on Gwenivere. She never touched the right. And she will usually devour just about anything you put in front of her: orange chicken, protein powder, she loves ruining our loaves of bread... She's a mess.
Bo, being the good child for once in his life, got to eat his food in private in his own bowl. Because he is not a drama queen. Then we had to lock him in the bedroom because he kept stealing from the right side of the bowl. Sadde will still hiss and attack Mr. Bojangles. But we think we've narrowed that down to him nudging us after being with Finn and Gwenovese, and then he smells like them. And as you may know, Beau has a certain lack in situational awareness and is very...overt. Sadde plays with Monsieur Beauregarde like normal after a few hours of that.
I remicrowaved Gwennifer's side of the bowl again and ate until she was full (for the first time in her life). Then she spent a while quietly sniffing around the guest room door. She's still there just watching the door now, but that may be because Section 8 neighborhoods stress her out. Regardless, a complete turn around in 30 minutes.
I've always liked cats more than dogs because you can just train a dog to do anything, while you can never really train a cat to do anything. You have to outsmart a cat, because brute force will never work. Every different cat makes you pull your hair out in a specific way until you find what motivates them and apply intellect. Actually, that's the reason why the ancient Egyptians worshiped cats (that's actually not true. They had cats wrapped up in their mythology because they killed rodents, and they thought it was a spiritual reason for less disease spreading with cats around.)
Anyway. Hope you enjoyed crazed cat antics at Sadde's expense!
Oh. Shoot. Well this is awkward. I just spent a lot of time getting you attached to Finn and Gwen as a concept, but Finn died last night. And I'm not just making that up. Finn has left this world for the next one and is no longer with us. We found him with Gwen despite being alive and well a few hours earlier.
After doing some reading, we've learned that the kitten mortality rate of stray cats obviously isn't great, but when the rest of the litter didn't make it it's close to 100%. There's also Fading Kitten Syndrome, when a kitten survives birth but sort of progresses backwards in time. But the symptoms are extremely difficult to notice, so there's no way to know the actual cause.
Now for the good news: Gwen recovered very quickly; and socializing with her with our cats is progressing well (read my Cat Psychology chapter again for how that's going). She is also very sweet and cuddly, which my wife Karen has always wanted in a cat. All of these factors make her more likely to be adopted into a loving home, whoever that ends up being. She reminds us a lot of Sylvia Ester Stalone.
We can keep her until she gets adopted into a great home, or until it catastrophically falls apart for some reason. Whichever happens first. In the off chance she is adopted by some stranger who likes her story, we would open it up to any friend or family that would like to adopt her instead.
There is a nonzero chance that we keep her, effectively adopting her, until we move to our next assignment. Then we'd make a decision, as each additional cat is exponential in moving insanity, and open it back up to friends and family.
This situation is a win-win-win-win-win. Obviously for us, our humane society, and Gwen. But even more so, because Gwen is fully capable of raising day-old kittens who get dropped off all the time with no mother.
And the last win, all of our friends and family, should you one day in the future decide to to adopt her. But I wouldn't hold your breath. We'll let you know in three to six years :)
I hope you enjoy the rest of this book.
Oh but I'm supposed to tie in something about life in each chapter or something. So here it is: the Decker's cat naming psychology quote. Or whatever you wanna call it.
"Contained within every cat's name includes any bastardization of that name. It's a natural law, everyone does this. KneadlesWeedles, ThomasWhomas, Squirtsquirt, Mr. Boeing Jangles Triple Seven Loyd - First of His Name, and Saddergator are all great examples of this."
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