What's up world? Is everyone having a good Monday? I sure hope so. I've been studying a decent portion of the day, calculus and physics and circuits, and decided to crank out a cool blog post before riding off to my Air Force meeting.
I forgot how much I love finals week. Last semester it was a little rough since I had such a hard time with Calculus II, but now that I've been fairly able to stay on top of all my classes for the past three months my finals week should be nice. All that needs to be done is some studying here and there to ensure you're prepared, and then you take the test which takes like two hours, and then you're done! You just get to chill for the rest of finals week! How clutch is that? No work, no class, no PT, no nothing! You just take the exams and spend the rest of the time chilling. I love it.
I wanted to tell you today about the Common's Quick Stop. It's a shitty little whole in the wall underneath the stairwell that leads to South Campus. It's a simple little grocery store that doesn't have anything but the absolute bare essentials, and then it overprices the hell out of the few necessities it does have. Last year, living at Kirwan Tower, I shopped at the Quick Stop quite a bit. I'd spend up my flex and although the prices were enough to cringe over, the convenience and fact that my flex is useless unless I spend it made it worth shopping there.
But goddamn was it shitty. It had this 60-something-year-old pothead working the counter, the counter itself looked like it was about to fall apart if you nudged it too hard, everything was usually almost expired or on the verge of being stale; it was kind of like a 100 square foot Walmart without there being "always low prices, always". The Common's Quick Stop was a get in, get out type of place with a similar depressing atmosphere to a gas station.
But I guess UK dining pushed a little bit more money towards the Quick Stop in the past few months because it has improved to a remarkable extent. The initial changes came in the layout of the store, making the best use possible of the space to provide more room for a wider variety of goodies. Next came a sound system, like, an actually decent area-system. They started having sales and daily specials and a whole big plethora of marketing ploys which, when comparing to last years Quick Stop, seemed like a bit of overkill. Their latest addition is a smoothie maker. A FUCKING SMOOTHIE MAKER. It's a nice one too; it has shaved ice and multiple compartments and it lights up and talks and shit. Quick Stop really went all out.
As I watched Quick Stop evolve into this vibrant venue blasting rap music and pouring drinks, I noticed something precarious. If you look closely at the sales Quick Stop makes, it initially seems harmless. However the weekend sales are deals like half off on orange juice, Hawaiian punch, Coke, condoms, and (get this) Ibuprofen. Are you noticing a trend with the weekend sales? Perhaps that everything on sale is a product directly related to drinking?
Let's just put ourselves in the shoes of a freshman living on South Campus on a Friday night. Let's say we're going to do some drinking tonight. What are we going to need for a successful night of drinking? First we'll need mixers, orange juice, fruit punch, and coke would be perfect! Then, let's see, we'll need some condoms in case we get lucky; and when Sunday morning rolls around Ibuprofen will be a lifesaver.
We'll shit, when it's laid out like that it almost seems like Quick Stop is marketing off college freshman drinking in the dorms. But let's continue out hypothetical story.
So as we're in Quick Stop stocking up on mixers and condoms for our K-Tower party, we can't help but notice the big-ass smoothie machine. Boy, a smoothie sounds nice right now. A big colorful sign above the counter proudly displays the 15-or-so types of smoothies offered. Included is"Toro Loco" (redbull frosty), Strawberry Paradise (virgin daiquiri), Margaritaville (virgin margarita), among several others.
I have honestly seen Miami nightclubs with smaller drink menus than the Quick Stop. Honestly if you go through the list of smoothies Quick Stop sells flavor by flavor, each can be made into a popular and tasty cocktail with the simple addition of alcohol.
So rebellious freshman, ready to bang the rules and drink on campus, have it made at Quick Stop. They get discounts on mixers, a fucking cocktail bar, they're bumping rap music, and it's open until 11pm. They sell everything you need to party except the actual alcohol. And I think that's funny as shit.
My question is, when are they planning on stopping? If they continue improving and fostering dumbass college freshman they're gonna turn into a speakeasy! I can imagine in a few years walking to Quick Stop on a Friday night and seeing a red velvet rope herding a mass of sorostitutes dressed in their tightest skirt and guys rocking polo's with the collars popped who are all desperate to get into Club Quick Stop. The pounding house music can be heard from the Johnson Center, the line is a block long, the 60 year old pothead has turned into a bouncer, and that shitty little counter has turned into a full bar.
"What're you guys doing tonight?"
"Oh we're gonna try to get into Club Quick Stop, we're tryna party."
"Better leave early, that place fills up."
"Word."
Ok well that's a stretch, but they are getting a little ridiculous with their catering to drinking. With the campus-wide alcohol ban, it's a distant but present possibility for Quick Stop to start selling Mike's Hard. That's the world I would someday like to live in.
K I'm out. Air Force meeting. Until next time...
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