Castle Life

What's up loyal readers? I hope everyone is having a productive Tuesday afternoon. I sure am. For me, the past three hours have been spent trying to understand the abstract concepts of Calc II. This is the hardest class in the world. I do not think I can do it without help. Perhaps I've met my match as far as college classes go.

It's very stressful. And when I find something I don't even almost understand, it really crushes my moral. So in order to calm down a little bit, I'm sipping cup of coffee number 2 and writing a little in this blog. I wanted to blog about the Castle Life.

Since I've become an RA at the Foreskin Fortress, you may have heard me refer to my domain as a castle. Not just any castle; THE castle, and more importantly MY castle. There's a few reasons I think this way. One being the layout of Haggin remarkably resembles that of a castle (or prison, but we're going with 'castle'). The second reason lies in my imagination and my silly habit of using it.

Think about how awesome it would be to live in a castle! It'd be nestled on top of a mountain, surrounded by dense and dangerous forests, a lake with a resident sea monster, and just at the foot of the mountain is the capital city where all the citizens carry on their lives. But I'd be just fortunate enough to live in the castle governing the land with my best bros and girlfriend.

The castle would be huge and majestic! There'd be hundreds of different lavish rooms and secret hallways; and only my friends and I would know the castle well enough to navigate it without getting lost. We'd have access to all the private rooms and dining halls, and be able to treat our guests with the utmost priority and luxury for meals and events. We'd have staterooms with massive bay windows, massive wardrobes and filled with furniture. In my stateroom I'd have a different desk for different days of the week and a large four post bed. We'd have all the power and privileges of the castle due to our executive staff status. And we'd use it, relaxing in the private quarters of the castle where the townspeople wouldn't bother us.

After long and taxing days of work governing the empire, we'd sip from our royal cups and meet in the royal lounge and play royal ping pong and simply enjoy time relaxing in our castle. Imagine sending out messengers inviting your friends to the castle for a night on the grounds. On a Friday night we'd throw massive royal parties in the party ward of the castle for all of the town to enjoy! And after we have a nice time, we'd kick everyone out--I mean check out all of our guests and return to our massive staterooms scattered throughout the expanses of the massive fortress.

The townspeople would of course be jealous of our positions and possessions in the castle, but that wouldn't bother me. I would have earned my spot in the castle just like everyone else, and the townspeople simply haven't made it to that level. However, I'd of course be welcoming to the townspeople whenever they wish to relax in the château with the rest of the royal staff.

And when the castle isn't doing it for me, I'd hop on my trusty steed and ride off towards the plains and farmlands in the shadow of the city. I could get away from it all for as long and as often as I pleased, but I doubt I'd want to very often.

Yes, living in a castle with all your bros would be a first-class life, despite all the work required to secure the position. Regardless of how much work is required during the early morning hours long into the evening, it would always be justified by the relaxing long walk passed the balconies, down the spiral stone steps, into the courtyards, and through the double doors into the Rec Hall each night. My fellow staff and I would sip royal beverages from our royal cups and wager on cards. We'd spend time telling exciting stories of the days adventures dealing with the townsfolk, perhaps a drug bust went down that week. The entertainment would be plentiful well past midnight, until everyone has had enough fun and is ready to go to bed to work through another day. And every night we would sleep soundly in our four post beds, in our spacious staterooms, within the secure walls of our castle.

So in case you've made it all the way to this point and still haven't figured out the metaphor I'm making, settle down I'll explain it. The only difference between Haggin and the castle life I just described is the amount of perceived "lavishness". Of course I don't live in some super luxurious dorm room; with silk bed sheets, marble flooring, beautiful mountaintop views. But I do live with a good group of guys who staff the "town" and keep the peasants from killing each other. I take advantage of my rewards. And just like I would in a mountaintop château; every night when my work is done I take my long walk passed the balconies, down the spiral stone steps, into the courtyards, and through the double doors into the game room for some R&R with my fellow staff.

That's about as much as I can throw into this blog post. Until next time...