Too Tan To FGAF

What’s up everyone? Today feels like California. Actually I take that back; California is a very big place and thus has a large variety of weather. Today feels like LAX. It’s amazing. It’s like between 60 and 65 so it’s a little cool if you’re wearing shorts and flip flops, the wind is gusting on and off, and there is no cloud in the sky with not a whole lot of humidity. It’s quite familiar to me. I like it. I’m waiting for a massive jetliner to fly 200 feet above me, however I’m not too hopeful because I’m still not actually at LAX. Yeah…

So today I’m sipping on some decaf. I’m outside, beautiful day as I had said earlier. I have PT tomorrow so I really don’t wanna be wired too late tonight. So decaf it is. I’m not a pussy. I just have priorities. So get at me.

I had an exam today. It was in my American Government class. That class is very easy: very little workload, easy-to-ace exams, whatever. However there is a course requirement to write a paper. I haven’t actually read the assignment guidelines or any of that shit but I’ve decided to write my paper about the Florida Keys. I’m pretty sure the assignment is to write something about diversity or something? Yeah like I said no fucking clue, but regardless I’m definitely writing about the Keys. See that’s the beauty of easy classes. You have so much flexibility that you can do pretty much whatever the fuck you want and still pull off an A. The result is I get to research and write about one of the chilliest places on Earth.

Another thing I love: Tuesday nights. Tuesday nights this semester are about the most relaxing, yet entertaining nights of the week. I almost prefer Tuesday nights over Friday or Saturday nights. Let me explain…

Firstly, I have PT Tuesday mornings, which is obviously a pain in my ass. But after it’s all over with, I actually have a very chill day. Because PT is the highest hill I have to climb, the rest of the day is downhill. After only two easy classes, and some programming homework (which is always enjoyable) my Tuesday ‘workday’ is completed. So I have the rest of the day and night to relax. I have nothing else to do but chill with my bros until 11am Wednesday morning.

Tuesday night is spent with Jamal or Tom or whoever I decide to hang out with. We enjoy our games of MX Reflex, watching our Adult Swim cartoons, and of course Wing Night. What’s Wing Night you say? It’s perhaps the highlight of my week. Wing night is every Tuesday when the popular wing joint “Wing Zone” offers a 50c/wing deal. Thus you can get a full and enjoyable meal of 10 wings for just about $6-$7.

So it’s pretty easy to conclude why Tuesday nights are so amazing. No work for a solid 15 hours, a delicious plate of wings while hanging with your best friends. Fuck partying; Tuesday night is when good times are to be had. And one final reagent I bring to the equation is the fact that Tuesday night is what used to be my most dreaded night of the week: PR cycle. Of course I went hard in those days, but I also slipped into a depression because of it. Tuesday night was perhaps the worst, and now the lack of said stressor makes me glad I can just relax indefinitely.

Switching gears here: I was a victim of moderate bullying as a kid. All through 5^th-8^th grade, I was given shit consistently for being pale. It didn’t really concern me, but I have found one residual effect: now I’m tan and can’t help but to be a dick about it. Family Guy once had an episode where Stewie becomes tan and then transforms into a huge douchebag about being tan, almost completely disregarding anyone without a tan. This is my secret, hidden, scarred personality.

Being tan is one of those things where you can completely talk out of your ass and actually be taken seriously due to your tan. Example: “Yeah I found a little place in Santa Barbara my girlfriend and I are considering renting for the summer. Oh yeah we can easily afford it with our incomes. Oh tuition? Yeah I don’t pay my tuition. You do. Thanks. But yeah Santa Barbara is nice in the summer. Oprah says she loves it there. Yeah it’s kind of a tan-people get-away” Now to someone who has never met you in their life might actually take you seriously for a number of reasons: your delivery and your tan. But mainly your ability at making shit up and sounding serious. I love fucking with people in that fashion because I’m so damn good at it!

Rethinking that paragraph, I don’t think having a tan allows you to bullshit anymore than normal if you’re good at bullshitting. I mean this is the first time I’ve really been tan, and I’ve been bullshitting for years.

The thing about my bullshit however is that a lot of it is true. I don’t really need to bullshit to overly impress people. Scholarship. Pilot’s License/wings, top of my ROTC class; like when people need to bullshit, they make stuff up that already have. Sucks for them I guess.

Oh right, I keep forgetting to mention it on this blog, but I just bought a motorcycle. Yeah, the Kawasaki Ninka I’ve had my eye on for like 2 years. I bought it Saturday. I pick it up this weekend. Words can’t describe how stoked I am for it, literally I can’t. It should make the rest of this semester fly by rather smoothly. I mean it’s already almost April. 5 weeks left, and all I have to do until August is lifeguard (i.e. tan), ride, and chill.

By the way… Fuck decaf coffee. Not impressed. Can’t really say why, it’s just not as good. But next time I post I should have my motorcycle so I can  blog about how awesome it is. Until then…

Awesome like a Cordova 360

It's bloooooooooog time! Happy Monday everyone. In fact it's not just any Monday, no this Monday is meaningful. This is the MONDAY BEFORE SPRING BREAK. Which is actually very complex and difficult, the Monday before Spring Break really fuxx with my emotions sometimes. Let me explain.

First and foremost, it's Monday. Which fucking sucks. After a weekend of motorcycle shopping and chilling in Louisville, it's as difficult as always to mosey on back to class to learn more. However, it's not all bad because being the Monday before Spring Break, it's actually a light day as far as workload: no homework. And of course we can't forget that we are so damn close to Spring Break! But in reality we're really not that close, we have the whole week left. I have to put up with an exam, three PT sessions, a SAFECATS night, a few small homework assignments. This is what makes the Monday before Spring Break bittersweet, you're so close, yet so far away. It never fails to drive a spring breaker with stars in his eyes crazy.

As I said earlier, I went motorcycle shopping this weekend. It was very informative and fun. I'm starting to get dangerously close to actually buying a motorcycle, which will be sweet. In fact the time range for that is like 4-6 weeks, and yeah I totes can't wait.

But the more I research motorcycles the more I realize how well the sportbike style motorcycle fits my personality. Some riders are dirtbikers, some choose the Harley Davidson cruiser model, others tour or whatever but then there are people like me; which the sportbike is tailor-made for.

In the Air Force, as many people are aware of, pilots of different category aircraft tend to razz on each other. The cargo pilots get shit from the fighters for going slow, the fighters get shit from the cargo pilots for not knowing how to do a W&B, and the chopper pilots get shit from every human being in the world. This type of pseudo-factionism seems to divide up common people over anything they choose to get involved in. And I love it!

There are examples EVERYWHERE. People who play World of Warcraft divide up by Horde, Alliance, zombie, whatever the fuck. People who play sports divide up by the type of sport they play, and then further by what position. Musicians by the type of music or instrument they play. Scholars by their major or university. Et Cetera.

People inherently affiliate themselves with a group of people to oppose a different group, and they do this perhaps hundreds of times per day. "That guy has an Air Force bumper sticker! Hell yeah, let that guy merge." It traces back to the days where early humans had to band together in tribes and fight for survival by countering enemy tribes. Now that we don't have to do that to survive anymore, we still do it because it's fun to make fun of stupid liberal arts majors.

So back to talking about motorcycles. This same type of cohesiveness applies. Sportbikers look out for the sportbikers, Harley riders look out for the Harley riders, and touring bikers are considered dumb as fuck by all. But what's quite a shame is that sportbike riders have a pretty bad rep because of dipshit riders who give us a bad name whizzing through traffic without gear. What results is that Harley riders tend to hate sportbikes while true sportbike riders have nothing against those Harley badasses.

I don't wanna whizz through traffic and kill myself without gear. I wanna learn how to ride a bike properly, and master all the skills involved with a performance motorcycle. Harley's and the like simply don't have a sporty enough gear ratio, swift aerodynamics, lean ability, and are far too heavy for me to enjoy them. Sportbikes on the other hand are perfect.

Anyway sorry for ranting so much about motorcycles. My mind is completely distracted by that Ninja 250 right now. Regardless, I think it's about time for me to talk about my new frat: Mu Chi Phi.

Basically, my friends and I like to ride. Yes on a videogame, but that's not the point. On the outside, it is indeed four or five guys going completely stupid over a Cordova 360. But in reality, it's deeper than that. It's the fact that my friends and I don't have to worry about anything. We can just chill and play some Mx Reflex and enjoy each other's company laughing at stupid shit. Because when it comes down to it, when we're "riding", we're really just celebrating the fact that we can do whatever the fuck we want because we're on scholarship and we're on a road to success.

Of course our obsessions change. Currently it's riding: that (really really awesome) videogame that let's us pretend and fantasize of getting big air, making the crowd roar, and snagging mx bitches on the daily. Prior it's been Skyrim and the Stormcloak rebellion. Whatever stupid thing we end up preoccupying our time with we always do it with each other, and it ends up being a blissful escape from school and work for a few hours.

That's what Mu Chi Phi symbolizes. Not riding specifically, but whatever we do to escape the boring painful reality of working our asses off to achieve what we want. Mu Chi Phi is the 1900 on a Friday feeling of loading up the X-Box and polishing off a Blue Moon while spitting a freestyle line to the instrumental of California Dreaming. Mu Chi Phi is probably what frats used to be like before they lowered the standards and upped the admission price.

So I just got offfered an RA position at Haggin Hall for next semester. This continues my streak of accomplishing every goal I set through college. It's pretty nice and I'm getting quite used to it. I love how impressive I am as an individual. Feeling bad for fuck-ups about now. Sucks to be them.

Back to Mu Chi Phi, another aspect of the honorary fraternity is the competition. We live by a Race to Ride ratio. Race is how well you race, and Ride is how well you freestyle. The goal is to be a 5:5 and to be on top. Of course it's just friendly competition but it still exemplifies the whole "excellence in all we do" ideology that my friends and I live by. I.e. even when we're just dicking around, we're the fucking best.

Anyway that's about all I have for this Monday's post. I have an exam tomorrow so I expect I'll post again tomorrow. 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 days left until Spring Break, depending on how you look at it. I'm so focused at everything else in my life right now that my stoke level for this Spring Break is pretty low, notably compared to last year. Which is actually really really great because now I won't be fucking giddy all week. Instead my stokedness will just spike at the last minute on the way to Atlanta. All the sudden on I-75 I'm gonna be like "AW FUCK THIS WEEK IS GONNA BE AWESOME." Normally that feeling hits me like 172 days out like last year. Oh well, until next time...